Sunday, 27 July 2008

Miss Phish.

Woe is me.
Oi i said "Woe is me" is nobody listening!
Tsk Tsk, i dunno i nearly died last week and nobody even noticed, what has a girl gotta do to get noticed round here?

Well anyhow I'm back now so sit up straight and no picking your nose while I'm talking, that goes for you Undi Wearus.

I was talking to a student in my class the other day about uniforms, i suggested a nice tartan plaid with a symbol of the bagpipes slightly squiffy over the right side lapel, well you would have thought i had asked for a gin and tonic in an AA meeting.
The student asked why i would suggest such a thing! i dunno i replied but i have always wanted to be Scottish, silly moo, we don't have to have reasons for wanting things, do we.

When i was training under the President of the United states of America [i cant tell you which one as i would then have to kill you if i did] i asked him if all peanuts grew on tree's he replied, "yes mam they surely do" now there is times in my life when questions are better left unanswered, and i think that was one of them.

I was in a competition this week for a vintage cushion cover, we all had to tell a joke and the best joke would win the coveted cushion, i told one or two of my mostest funniest ones and i just knew i was gunna win. Knowing that NOBODY was better than me at anything, i humbly asked the generous Miss Phish [who was running the Compo] to allow someone else to win the old cushion [i didn't want it anyhow Miss Phish, so there*sticking tongue out] she was adamant that i should win just because my brilliance should be shared with the whole world, but i refused and said, "No allow some other poor less fortunate person win the accolade".
So miss Twinny goodie two shoes won it..................... with a *notatallfunnyjoke* about a pig and a flick knife, i ask you, i'v never heard anything so silly, [I'M NOT BITTER].
Boysmum3 played a corker and others like Bloomin Myrtle were just plain silly, Lastic kec's was not at all funny and Trixietreacle well i wont comment for fear of reprisals, Ellieweb's needed work and i cant remember Sandie's at all so it must have been Boooorrrring, lol, still its only a silly competition and I'M NOT BITTER.


angel said...

Oh, i forgot to say, i hope you dont mind Miss Phish. [yeah right as if i really care lol].

Lace Threads said...

Pick me up off the floor - laughing so much now, you wicked person. How do you come up with them?! Now, you must not read the ocmments on my blog. You are coming up a couple of times, and I don't want you getting big headed, dear old anglepoise. (Trix's name and I'm borrowing it!)
Personally I thought my joke was the bestest. Mwah.

angel said...

Ok Lastic threads, i will come over and lookie at the WONDERFUL *lace threads* bloggie blog blog. titter........ snort.

Elaine said...

Excuse me missy, my joke was not silly.
Daft maybe, but not silly (I'm blowing a raspberry now if only you could see)

I didn't realise you worked for the president, you can tell me which one, I won't tell. Honest!!!

Love and blessings

angel said...

Lol, BM there is a clue in the *Peanut* bit, Now im gunna have to put my wings on and fly oop norf, its a blimmin long way thou knows, tsk tsk. Ninja suit out of mothballs...........

sharie said...

I'm a listening honey! I'm a listening so loudly I can hear your woe from right over here!

To cheer you up I have tagged you, So there!
Now you've got to come over to my blog to find out what I have done to you.

Elaine said...

Aha!!! of course, President Snoopy LOL.

I know you already have one, but I've awarded you an award too, just because you're you.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

claire said...

Oh Angel - I can tell you are not bitter :)
You are just not that kinda gal lol!!
Fab post as always - you are the bestest blogger in the universe xxx

Country Bliss said...

I've just popped in for my westies lol!
I haven't read all these jokes yet, been too busy but I'm going to have to find the time!

momof2gr8kids said...

thanks for the laugh.. that made me laugh like crazy..

Trish said...

honestly woman, you have reeeeeeaaaaally lost it this time pmsl!!!!!! I didn't even tell a blimmin' joke, I just laughed at yours you daft bugger, lubs ya loads xxx

Lace Threads said...

isn't it time you did another post, huh? I mean, I know you're busy and all - some lame excuse about a pardy?! - but some of us are hanging on a thread. Think you should dedicate one to tissue! Mwah. xxxxxxxxxxx

Phishy_Miss said...


I do hope trixie liked her new cushion cover...