Miss Phish.

Woe is me.
Oi i said "Woe is me" is nobody listening!
Tsk Tsk, i dunno i nearly died last week and nobody even noticed, what has a girl gotta do to get noticed round here?

Well anyhow I'm back now so sit up straight and no picking your nose while I'm talking, that goes for you Undi Wearus.

I was talking to a student in my class the other day about uniforms, i suggested a nice tartan plaid with a symbol of the bagpipes slightly squiffy over the right side lapel, well you would have thought i had asked for a gin and tonic in an AA meeting.
The student asked why i would suggest such a thing! i dunno i replied but i have always wanted to be Scottish, silly moo, we don't have to have reasons for wanting things, do we.

When i was training under the President of the United states of America [i cant tell you which one as i would then have to kill you if i did] i asked him if all peanuts grew on tree's he replied, "yes mam they surely do" now there is times in my life when questions are better left unanswered, and i think that was one of them.

I was in a competition this week for a vintage cushion cover, we all had to tell a joke and the best joke would win the coveted cushion, i told one or two of my mostest funniest ones and i just knew i was gunna win. Knowing that NOBODY was better than me at anything, i humbly asked the generous Miss Phish [who was running the Compo] to allow someone else to win the old cushion [i didn't want it anyhow Miss Phish, so there*sticking tongue out] she was adamant that i should win just because my brilliance should be shared with the whole world, but i refused and said, "No allow some other poor less fortunate person win the accolade".
So miss Twinny goodie two shoes won it..................... with a *notatallfunnyjoke* about a pig and a flick knife, i ask you, i'v never heard anything so silly, [I'M NOT BITTER].
Boysmum3 played a corker and others like Bloomin Myrtle were just plain silly, Lastic kec's was not at all funny and Trixietreacle well i wont comment for fear of reprisals, Ellieweb's needed work and i cant remember Sandie's at all so it must have been Boooorrrring, lol, still its only a silly competition and I'M NOT BITTER.