Sunday, 27 July 2008

Miss Phish.

Woe is me.
Oi i said "Woe is me" is nobody listening!
Tsk Tsk, i dunno i nearly died last week and nobody even noticed, what has a girl gotta do to get noticed round here?

Well anyhow I'm back now so sit up straight and no picking your nose while I'm talking, that goes for you Undi Wearus.

I was talking to a student in my class the other day about uniforms, i suggested a nice tartan plaid with a symbol of the bagpipes slightly squiffy over the right side lapel, well you would have thought i had asked for a gin and tonic in an AA meeting.
The student asked why i would suggest such a thing! i dunno i replied but i have always wanted to be Scottish, silly moo, we don't have to have reasons for wanting things, do we.

When i was training under the President of the United states of America [i cant tell you which one as i would then have to kill you if i did] i asked him if all peanuts grew on tree's he replied, "yes mam they surely do" now there is times in my life when questions are better left unanswered, and i think that was one of them.

I was in a competition this week for a vintage cushion cover, we all had to tell a joke and the best joke would win the coveted cushion, i told one or two of my mostest funniest ones and i just knew i was gunna win. Knowing that NOBODY was better than me at anything, i humbly asked the generous Miss Phish [who was running the Compo] to allow someone else to win the old cushion [i didn't want it anyhow Miss Phish, so there*sticking tongue out] she was adamant that i should win just because my brilliance should be shared with the whole world, but i refused and said, "No allow some other poor less fortunate person win the accolade".
So miss Twinny goodie two shoes won it..................... with a *notatallfunnyjoke* about a pig and a flick knife, i ask you, i'v never heard anything so silly, [I'M NOT BITTER].
Boysmum3 played a corker and others like Bloomin Myrtle were just plain silly, Lastic kec's was not at all funny and Trixietreacle well i wont comment for fear of reprisals, Ellieweb's needed work and i cant remember Sandie's at all so it must have been Boooorrrring, lol, still its only a silly competition and I'M NOT BITTER.

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Rare Dickensian Pictures.

I thought that would get your attention, Lol.

I found these up in the attic the other day, there is a set of 4, they look like Pickwick Character's but I'm not 100% sure? so i had this brainwave, stick them on your bloggie blog blog and see if there are any intelligent peoples out in the land of blog.
So is anyone up for a bit of erm, whats the word I'm searching for, hysteric's? no, Historionicks no [that's so silly], is there anyone who may have an inkling what they are?

Sunday, 13 July 2008

Home on the Range

*Sings*Home, home on the range, where the dog and the Tortoise roam..............

Morning all you caught me swanning about on the *Homestead* taking note of all the wonders that surround me, I notice Mr Tortie is doing a mean looking "dead man impersonation" Morning Mr Tortie, He must have the hump as he ignores me, lol

Ah, look that is the Fagusbuttus, bet you don't see many of them round any more, its a rare old sight on this piece of ground.

The Foothills of Essex are stronger now that this piece of timber has been planted, gorgeousness is its name and it will be even lovelier when its finished.

Just a small look into my ever decreasing garden and there would have been more but the Blimmin Post kept getting lost........... so you all get the abridged version and i cant be bothered to do it all again for the millionth time............ I dont have a time machine ya know and if i did i wouldnt be writing this now would i!!!!

Anyhow im off to look at the garden of Essex and to plant a few mor weeds..................


Mutter................mutter....................mutter.........silly blimmin thing....................cheesed off now......where is the distructions for this blimmin thingy ................. mutter ..........mutter.......... mutter...................................

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Dun dun dunnnnnnnn

Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
The winner is

Elaine............................ *Clapping*

Shall i sent you some weak suvven tea oop to yeh luve, or are thy happy wit the Norvvern muck thoust dust have oop thererr ? Lol.

Well done BM, I think it was the thousand Emails that did it for you, [tbh it had your name on it but i had to at least look like i was offering it to the others...........but dont tell em like, wilt yea luv].

From saff to norf a chicken did went,
Eventually, if i bother to send,
The caddy known as Rita,
Oh, i do hope ya keep er,
As wood does go she aint to bad,
It belonged, thy know to my mam and dad,
The varnish is a bit shabby,
on this little ol caddy.

But never mind cos its yours now and iv got rid of it and have no more responsabilty of it, so have it, and enjoy it, and i hope it turns you norvverners into sovverner tea drinkers.........

Love and hugs.............for a very special lady. X

[phew now what can i drag outa the bin to send off to this lot of mugs]