Mayday...or should that be SOS..:)

As some will know i reached the ripe old age of 40 this past March and i must say i am beginning to feel me age..




I know i have ages to "do" stuff but i suddenly realised that i seem to be missing out on loads of "life" as the saying goes, it all begins at 40.... so i am gunna start living the wild life, i don't wanna turn 50 and still be a ......erm ......50 year old.....ahem .... person, now do i....




A couple of years ago, when i did the London Marathon, i found that all that running was chafing me thighs, as i didn't use lycra then, i went out this year and bought a strip of it and wrapped it round me left thigh.... bugger me if it didn't chafe like a bear! next year i shall have to buy another patch for the other side..... anyone know if they make Lycra bras!




Also since doing Avatar, i have appeared in another blockbuster called "How to use a Tin opener with only one hand" its rumoured to be an Oscar winner.... I don't like to brag but i know that this time i am gunna get the best actress award. Its about a politician who tries to open a tin with one hand! its classic cutting edge stuff, honest it is....




I also won the other famous country fingy, you know the one for the best vocalist..... it was between me and Winette of course she's good, but, bugger I am so much better, i sang "i'll take the duvet from the bedroom" and had them in tears... Oh and Dolly came up after the ceremony and asked me for my autograph.... i said i would send her one when i redo her next album...




And Wrapper MCMchammer asked me to write him another hit song, but i dont have time. Did you know i have to write the next National Anthem, prince Philip wants something with "Rule Britainia rules the suburbs" and Maj wants "Run down the road with ya kecks in the air, like ya just dont care" I much prefer Her Maj's version, dont you.




Just off to take Tyson to the rink, i'm only doing 10 rounds with him cos me lumbago is playing up tonight...




Can ya tell i'm bored...... i also wants to know if anyone even looks at this blog anymore...LOL