Flippin Flu.

I have got the blimmin Flu, and I'm sure that Bloomin Myrtle gave it to me, she confessed to me today that she has been sneezing all over Her tappie, so now I'm suffering the worse case of flu ever, no one has ever had such a bad case, they have quarantined my sofa, I have had the world crisis people in they are amazed I'm still lingering on, if you saw me you would call a priest, then the undertakers.
I have heard that poor trickle trish has had it to, though nowhere near as bad as me, obviously.
I have been taking the new drug Paracetamol, I think I am the first one to be on it, I'm trialing it, so thank me if it works, I'm only doing this for the greater good you know, and only under strict medical supervision, apparently the Doctors are waiting with bated breath to see whether I will survive the ordeal.
Lazy lacy has been lazing about all week doing nothing, I have tried talking to her but she just wont listen, she had a man come in and do a bit with a couple of chairs and a table, they were ok, nothing to shout about, but she has told everyone that its all her own work! we can see right through you lacykec's you cant fool us you know.
I must rest now as I am waning, I shall be thinking of you all, and watching for your sympathy cards to start falling on my mat......................gough.........splutter..........gasp..........sneeze, Oh my goodness, now I will have to clean that screen...........................tomorrow.